Is a comfortable relationship even possible for me?

TW: internalized aphobia maybe?

I am so unbelievably frustrated. For my entire life, all I’ve ever wanted was to fall in love and have a boyfriend. Like literally, I didn’t have a goal for what I wanted to do as a job growing up cuz the only thing I cared about was eventually falling in love and living happily ever after. I was raised on Disney movies, and I may have taken the relationship stuff in them too literally, cuz my belief was if I’m in love in a happy relationship, nothing else matters. As the years passed, I never developed a crush on anyone, ever. I’ve never felt romantic attraction. Around the end of high school I started identifying as demi, because I’d never had a close friendship with a guy, so that could explain why I’ve never developed feelings for anyone. After a year I decided to identify as aromantic until proven otherwise, and that was 7 years ago. Despite my new aroace label, I still craved a romantic connection and relationship. I met a guy about 2 weeks ago who checks literally all my boxes, and he honestly feels like he was made in a lab specifically for me. Like all my years of half heartedly manifesting could have created him. I went on a date with him last night, the 3rd date I’ve ever been on in my life but the first that actually kinda felt like a date, but I felt nothing special. It just felt like talking to a regular person in a regular situation, but a little more awkward. There was one moment where I explained to him that I’m ace, I’d never been attracted to anyone before, and I was still trying to figure out if I was attracted to him. And, to sum it up, his answer was “don’t worry, I’ll be here, I’ll wait.” This was LITERALLY the moment I’ve been fantasizing about for YEARS. That was the PERFECT answer. In the moment I felt really happy and excited, but as the moment passed, so did the excitement. I felt burdened by the romantic context of our relationship, and I still do. I’m writing this the next morning, and I don’t wanna turn my phone off do not disturb because I don’t want him to text me. I keep thinking I wish I lived before phones, because I feel like at any moment I can be forced into a conversation and I can never escape to just be alone. Anyway, this is the exact scenario I’ve dreamed about for years, to have the perfect guy understand my sexuality and be patient with me, but I just want out. I’d still like to get to know him, but only in a platonic context. The idea of trying to get to know him with the context of romance looming over the situation makes me so uncomfortable. On the date it didn’t feel like that that as much, but after a certain point I really did just wanna go home, and when we said goodbye I intentionally just waved instead of a hug. It feels like I’m pretending if I give him a hug. I barely know this guy, why am I expected to act like we’re super close and I wanna be with him all the time? It feels so unnatural. I keep thinking maybe if I push through it and become close friends I can fall in love, but I don’t know how I can become close friends with him in this context. I feel completely suffocated, and the thought of him asking me out again is terrifying, but I want it so badly not to be. It doesn’t feel fair to him to keep trying to force this to work for me when I know he likes me. I just don’t know what to do.