Being gay is one of the most negative experiences I’ve had in this lifetime (Currently…)

I don’t even know how to explain this, but I can say, without a doubt, I love myself. It took me along time to get here, but I’m here. Life is “Life-ing”, but I’m doing the damn thing. But as I get older, I keep seeing more and more things that I can’t help but to question. For example, if I want to date, I don’t have any resources or guidance in doing this. If you look at almost any subreddit for gay men, the relationship advice is…morbid. Not the most inspiring individuals. I know gay dating is hard, but it’s crazy how we have such a negative view of the idea, without any self-reflection. Like, GM’s date based on sexual positions in the bedroom, then talk about how GM’s don’t know how to be in relationships…but that’s it. I have no idea how to interact with another gay man, without there being a “condition”. It might be someone being a total bottom, or being dominant, or submissive (rarely), or having to open the relationship, or having to be someone’s BBC (Yup, that’s just a regular Tuesday). Like, there’s no discussion of these things and how they’re an actual factor our social dynamics. Then there’s the “unrequited feelings” we have for people who can’t return our affections. Instead of being told “I need to stop liking straight guys”, I should’ve been taught to look at why? What attributes make be attractive to this man, so I can recognize those same qualities in someone that can return my affections, mutually. Or the possibility of not having this human experience, because it’s a numbers game (I live in the Midwest. As a black guy, my pool of bachelors is pretty abysmal, before I walk out the door, before hello)…By no means am I sad I’m single. I just wish we had better resources on navigating on how to build those type of connections…but I’m pretty sure I’m screwed…