I'm exhausted from being the 'bad guy' on walks even when we do everything right

I need to vent after another rough week. I have a leash reactive dog, mostly reactive to other dogs and sometimes to people if they surprise us. We've been doing the slow, boring work for months: medication from our vet, high-value treats, keeping distance, pattern games, avoiding tight spots, and a lot of management because that's what keeps everyone safe.

What wears me down is how often I still end up looking like the problem even when I'm doing the responsible thing.

If I cross the street early, people act offended like I'm judging their dog. If I step into someone's driveway to feed treats while my dog is trying to keep it together, I get looks like I'm failing some basic obedience test. If my dog barks, suddenly I'm the incompetent owner who shouldn't have a dog.

Then there are the casual comments: "Just let them say hi." "He needs to socialize." "You should be more confident." Meanwhile I'm standing there with a pouch of treats, trying to keep my dog's arousal below threshold and scanning for exits like I'm playing a stealth game.

I know I can't control other people, and I'm not looking for comebacks or drama. I just want to stop feeling like every walk is a public performance where strangers get to grade me.

If you have any mindset tricks that helped you shake off the shame and focus on your dog, I would love to hear them. Right now it feels like I do a full day of emotional labor just to walk around the block.