AIO: my friend keeps ditching me last minute, I’m tired and I don’t know if I’m in the wrong

I (22 F) was supposed to go out with my friend (24F) tonight, but as usual se ditched me last minute.

A bit of context: we’ve been friends ever since highschool, it’s one of my most durable friendships to this day. Ever since day one though, she has this super annoying habit to just ditch me last minute when we’re supposed to hang out and to me it’s very disappointing.

She’s done other questionable stuff, but I don’t know if she even is aware of it, she has Asperger and comes from a family that behaves differently from any family I’ve seen before (not in a bad way per se, they just have “strange” behaviour about things).

Knowing about her Aspergers and anxiety issues, I have always been very chill about it. I’ve said to her that I need to have a “few hours notice”, since I’m out of town and I have ADHD, so I need my time to organise and take the train and stuff.

It seems to me though that she’s been “abusing my kindness”. I’m always there for her and she’s never there for me, we keep organising hang outs but she always ditch me last minute. I’m more surprised when we actually manage to hang out than when she doesn’t show up.

Now, she keeps “excusing herself” saying it’s Asperger, anxiety or her autoimmune disease; but she fails to remember that I have too my own problems: I have bpd, depression, an anxiety disorder, ADHD and an autoimmune disorder too - from which I ALMOST FUCKING DIED (multiple times) a couple months ago. Did she ever show up in the hospital to come visit me? Hell no. I’ve been there for a whole fucking month, I’ve received bad news after bad news, I also broke up with my boyfriend who turned out to be a fucking asshole.

Was she ever there? Nope. She knew I was, and still am, having the worst time of my life and she keeps ditching me because SHE feels a little bit of pain, SHE doesn’t feel well and SHE feels anxious, but does she ever cares when I’m the one not feeling well?

And today, I was supposed to go to a festival with her. I was very exited since I haven’t been going out for weeks because I did not feel well and I had to put all my energies into work, ignoring my pain.

We organised this weeks ago, and I had made a plan for everything. I was very happy to finally be able to go out, to distract myself from my illness and all the horrible stuff that have been happening to me.

This morning, though, I woke up to a text in which she told me she didn’t feel like going out tonight. Now I feel nothing but disappointment and then feeling guilty about it. I’m tired about this, but I also understand the pain that comes with certain illnesses.

I keep thinking though that you can’t cancel everything every fucking time you don’t feel quite well. You won’t do anything anymore. I tried to understand if this was something she did with everyone or just me and discovered that she has some friends she hang out constantly and there seems to be no issues there.

Am I the problem? Am I overreacting?