Lost My Skills

I've always done art. Since I was very young, drawing was my favorite thing to do. And I was good at it in a "you're good for your age" way. But as I got older, I wasn't improving to the point of "you're good for your age", and in a large family with a lot of siblings, all showing reasonable amounts of talent that at their age, was above their expected skill level. That caused me to panic, and at age thirteen, I abandoned "learning" and skipped to instant results, which was tracing works of others, and later just copying. Neither are good, and neither helped me. But at the time I wanted the results so I could have something to present to my parents and family to set me apart from my siblings. When I didn't get the results I wanted, right around the time my high school career and depression started, I quit nearly completely.

Now, having just entered my twenties, I want drawing back as something I can do for me, how it was in the first place. A way to express myself, a way to tell the stories I want to tell, something for me. But my problem lies in not knowing my steps forward.

I don't know if I can be considered a beginner artist. I can look at someone else's art and copy it almost completely, but when I think about doing anything myself, even with a pose reference, It's like I'm paralyzed. Like I just don't have it in me. I don't have any fundamentals, I don't have the skills you gain in your early days of drawing because I began to copy instead. I don't know the way forward for this, and my biggest fear is that I'll start the process of trying to better my art, whatever that is, and I'll see no results. That fear stops me from doing a lot of things, and honestly, It's stopped me from asking for help. But I miss art, and I was hoping some more experienced artists may be able to help me, and offer me some guidance.

What do I do from here? Any resources you recommend?