AITA: For not liking my boyfriend’s mom?

AITA for not liking my boyfriend’s mom?

I apologize if this rambles. I’ve been dealing with this for about a year, and her behavior has become much less subtle.

My boyfriend (19) and I (19) have known each other since middle school. We reunited the summer before senior year, started dating, and everything was great. During senior year he told his parents about me. He’s Nigerian, so I expected some cultural differences. His dad didn’t seem to care much, but his mom became very involved. At first she was kind, talked to me often, and invited me over, so I thought she accepted me.

After prom, everything changed. My boyfriend, who never really had a curfew, suddenly had to be home by 8:30 every night during the summer before leaving for college. She also said we didn’t need to see each other so often. I understand wanting balance, but this was right before he moved away.

She started arguing with him about me where I could hear, saying I was spending all his money and would make him fail school. She even monitored his bank account and questioned every purchase. One time he bought me a $2 drink, and she called him within minutes asking what he spent money on and questioned him while I was right there.

To be fair, my boyfriend spends money on me because he wants to. He’s told me many times it makes him happy, and I even tell him no sometimes. I understand why a parent might worry, but after he’s repeatedly told her it’s his choice, it feels unfair that I’m still treated like the problem.

I also found out his parents took him to a cultural event hoping he’d meet a girl from his own ethnicity, which honestly hurt.

At first I wished my boyfriend defended me more, but recently he’s become more independent—ignoring some of her calls, staying out later with me, my family, or friends. Since then, her behavior has only gotten worse.
My boyfriend usually brushes it off, but I can’t help feeling resentful toward her. AITA for not liking my boyfriend’s mom?