body hate and other’s compliments (tw: weight gain and fitness discussion)

I’m gaining weight after a bad relapse and a few months of underrating and I feel terrible about the way I look, I got so many compliments when I was feeling my worst and they have all disappeared now that my body is changing. It fucking sucks to know that people silently agree with how I view my own body. Despite the changes being necessary and for the benefit of my overall health, I can’t stand to see myself in the mirror. And every day my fyp and social media feeds are filled with people telling me to diet or lose weight or work out more and ‘be less lazy, just lock in’ and do this that and everything in between. I’m tired!! nothing is ever enough!!

there is always something that I want changed or I’m being told to change. The world is so fatiguing, and the body I have isn’t helping me right now. my brain just holds onto the compliments I only got at my lowest weight. fuck the world honestly. fuck diet culture. fuck my sick brain!!!