I am confused…

I don’t know if I’m bi, gay, or what I actually am. I’m sexually attracted to men, but I want a relationship with a woman.

I’m 23 and I’ve been questioning my sexual orientation for quite a while. I guess I need to hear from someone who has experienced something similar, because the more I think about it, the less I understand myself.

Men sexually arouse me. There’s probably no point denying that anymore. Whenever I watch porn, it’s always been the man who turns me on. I’ve also had several sexual experiences with men, and what I mainly enjoy is oral sex, specifically being the one giving it. I don’t really have much desire for them to pleasure me, and other forms of sex with men don’t particularly interest me either. I sometimes actively look for men on Grindr because it’s simply easy to find someone who wants casual sex.

The thing is, I absolutely cannot imagine being in a relationship with a man. I don’t want to kiss a man, cuddle romantically, or live together as a couple. I’ve never fallen in love with a man. When I imagine having a boyfriend, it honestly feels strange and almost makes me laugh.

On the other hand, I genuinely crave a relationship with a woman. I’ve had crushes on women several times, I get incredibly happy when a woman shows interest in me, and I deeply want to have a girlfriend, hold her hand, hug her, kiss her, and eventually have a family and children.
Also, when I’m out in public, I almost exclusively look at women. I love women’s bodies, especially their asses and breasts. I can look at a naked woman and think her vulva is beautiful and genuinely feel a strong desire to go down on her, touch her, and pleasure her. I feel excited, my heart rate goes up, and on some level I really want it.

But I don’t get an erection. Women’s bodies simply don’t physically arouse me in the same way men’s bodies do. Women have never really turned me on in porn either.
However, I’ve never had any sexual experience with a woman. In fact, I’ve never been in a relationship at all. And with women, I have absolutely no desire for a random hookup. I don’t want to find some woman and immediately sleep with her just to “test my sexuality.” I want to get to know her first, develop feelings for her, gradually start kissing and touching, and only then have sex.
Part of me wonders whether sexual arousal could appear with a specific woman I genuinely love and who genuinely wants me. Another part of me thinks that if a naked woman or female porn has never sexually aroused me in my entire life, why would it suddenly be different in real life?

So I guess my reality is this: I’m much more sexually aroused by men, but romantically I seem to be drawn to women. With women, I have a desire to do sexual things and I’m fascinated by their bodies, but the physical arousal and erections aren’t there.
What I’m mainly wondering is whether anyone has experienced something similar. Is it possible to be sexually aroused by a woman in real life even if women have never aroused you in porn? Can sexual arousal only appear once there are feelings and a connection with a specific partner?
And if you’re bisexual, or your sexual and romantic attraction seem to be split in a similar way, how do you deal with it in relationships? Was your female partner able to understand it?