is my mom a psycho or am i crazy?

23(f)

i’m currently back at home after having lived on my own due to falling out with my mother beforehand. i recently cut off both of my grandparents due to them basically saying i can’t stay with them after the place that i was staying at, the owner was abandoning it. i told my mother that i did not/am not on speaking terms with them and she said she didn’t care to know the details but that i should talk to them because “we don’t know when it’s their time”. and personally, i felt weird about that statement because i have gone through a lot with those two. anyhow, i accidentally locked my keys in my car (i do this often, my memory sucks) and i told my mother because i had to work that night (i work overnight 12 hrs) she says she’ll ask the neighborhood fb group chat.

i wake up and my keys are still in my car. i ask her if she can take me and she has a whole attitude. now granted, she just got off from work and probably did have to go to her second job i understand that. however, i was already stressed out about my situation so it doesn’t help that she’s driving recklessly and huffing and puffing . her bf calls her? entirely different attitude. he asks what she’s doing she says *in a whole different tone of softer voice im not kidding* “taking my baby to work”. the morning i get off from work i had to take an uber, i come through the door she doesn’t say a word to me. later on that day i had to uber to my school for a mandatory orientation for a program that i thought i almost didn’t get into so this was a big deal for me. i come back from that my mom calls me and she’s like you need to say thank you to your grandfather for getting your keys out your car. i was immediately annoyed. i didn’t ask him to do that. SHE did. the following day, she asks me if i talked to him i said no. she said you need to so you can get your keys back. im like you’re WITHHOLDING my keys until i say thank you to him? she says yes. i walk away because at this point i’m so angry.

i decide not to do it. to me it boils down to “you must do this thing for me until you get access to your things back” which is infantilizing. i made a clear boundary that i did not want to speak to him nor my grandmother, and she made a decision to insert herself while claiming she wants to be left out of it. she could have asked one of our neighbors directly but this was a very calculated choice in my opinion. while she’s talking to me she says that she can’t have the full extent of a conversation with me because it gets turned back on her and that she feels like she has to walk on eggshells around me. like no, i have boundaries that she doesn’t agree with. i was confused on the direction the conversation was going anyway because how is literally any of this about her. i really feel like this was a “you inconvenienced me? so now i’m incapacitating you”. type of thing. and it’s like she didn’t give me the chance to decide for myself if i’d say thank you. she already decided that it’s something i’m going to do. as if i don’t work, go to school, and pay for my own everything as a 23 yo should?? like i’m so confused.