I had a friend who hurt me with his words, so we stopped being friends; I ran into him today.

I apologize if the title made it sound like this happened in person; it actually took place online. To explain further, let’s go back to the beginning.

I had an online friend—let’s call him V. V and I had been good friends for about a year and a half. One day, while we were chatting about trivial matters, V started talking about another friend of his—let’s call him Min. V told me that Min was going through a rough patch mentally, and that he was having suicidal thoughts and the like.

V said he felt Min wasn't serious and was just seeking attention. V believed that if someone were truly suicidal or intent on taking their own life, they wouldn't go to the trouble of telling those around them; they would simply go ahead and do it. He thought this way because V as well used to have suicidal thoughts.

This conversation made me feel deeply uncomfortable. Why? Because I had gone through literally the same thing! At the time, I was having many suicidal thoughts (lol)—I had even tried to take my own life. V knew about my attempt because I had told him what I did; I had said goodbye to him because I felt that dying without telling my friend goodbye know would be heartless!

Anyway, while V was talking about how his friend Min was an "attention seeker" for expressing a desire to die (the very same thing I had done before), I couldn't help but wonder: if V thought Min was just seeking attention and wasn't serious about it, didn't that mean he might have thought the same thing about me?

So I asked him, "Do you think I was just seeking attention?" His honest answer was yes. He tried to change the subject several times after that, but I couldn't get past it because I felt deeply hurt. I told him I wasn't just looking for attention—that I was serious about the matter. I also told him he shouldn't speak about his other friend, "Min," that way, and that he was being heartless.

We stopped speaking for a week after that; honestly, I was waiting for an apology (and sorry if this sounds mean), but it never came. So, I simply told him we should stop being friends—that I didn't hate him, but I didn't want him in my life. This wasn't the first time V expressed some weird heartless opinion btw.

Anyway, I didn't block him, but I did remove him from my friends list on every app except for one game called Genshin. The reason I didn't remove him there was that I didn't know how; plus, I didn't play the game much, so I didn't bother going through the trouble of removing him. I also thought he would get the hint and remove me himself. 😅

A year later, (today) I was playing the game and suddenly I get a message from someone called "Rotten" They were like "Oh I found you on my friends list, do I know you?" Blah blah blah. I said I don't know them, but they can keep me or remove me from their friends list since idrc, they were like "Let's be friends, I can help you with the game" Which honestly made me so happy cuz I suck at the game and need help 😭

The conversation was really short, I thought that person's way of speaking was REAALLY familiar but I didn't think much of it...til I opened their profile and found V's name there 😃

I am 99% sure it's V. Now I don't know what to do. Should I tell him I know him? He doesn't seem to know it's me anyway, since I changed my user in the game. If I tell him I know him, what will happen next? Do I delete him from the friends list?

I'm really hesitant because I kind of miss him, even though he hurt me and refused to apologize. I still want to believe with all my heart that he's a good person and that he didn't mean what he said. I've forgiven him; I don't hold grudges for long. But I still don't feel ready to talk to him again as if nothing happened.

Thanks for reading.