Let me tell you a story

So there was this guy named A. He was very lively, above average kid in school with a very attractive and humble personality. Friendly with everyone. Doesn't involve in any type of fight or debate. The "innocent" type as we call these days. 'A' Liked a girl named 'S' who was his classmate. He first saw her in class 11th (they took math and that's why in same section) and the whole year they do use to greet and meet each other just casually not even as friends just strangers but this casual greet and meet turned into a one sided love for 'A'. The next year he started acknowledging his feelings and the whole year he had a crush on her. He then finally proposed to 'S' on the very last day of their entire school life. Few days later she agreed and 'A' was on 7th cloud.

They used to talk to each other late at night while also juggling boards prep. Their love grew. Well for 'A' it does. He became very loyal and was ready to submit himself to her completely. She also said to him that she is very loyal to him. But both of them couldn't clear the competitive they were preparing for and thus decided to take a drop. Fortunately both of them got into the same coaching institute but different batch since she joined in late and 'A' who lived really afar from 'S' also moved near his coaching in a hostel.

Now 'A' got some really asshole people as roommate and neighbor and was constantly fighting them because they used to call him names of his girlfriend. They do were really messed up people with very wicked point of view to everything. Your classic 'bade baap ki bigadi aulaad' and 'main character syndrome bakchod antisocial'. But amidst all 'A' did had someone who do cheers him up at the end of the day and makes him feel seen and acknowledge his efforts in studies and this relationship. Soon 'A' also made better friends in the hostel and started studying and spending time with them turning him from that "innocent" kid to a more mature and sensible guy.

Now few months prior exam 'S' started behaving strange. She started avoiding 'A' and she is also very dull and had that idgaf attitude towards 'A' and 'A' thought its his fault he might have done something or said something and started begging for her attention and love and her to saty with him. At the end, a month before the exam they were preparing for, 'A' and 'S' had a fight. 'A' asked 'S' for a break up and surprisingly she agreed by saying "Sure! I support all your decisions".

After this 'A' went almost into a depression. Not because the person he loved is no more with him but because he thinks its his fault that this relationship ended and started counting all his fails in tests, studies, his lose of personality, his lose of ambitions. He started seeing himself as a failure and regretted every second he spent living. Throughout this whole mess 'A's school friend who had joined colleges did helped him out of this and guided him but it didn't worked and after the exam ended they told 'A' that they found out she has been cheating on him with her ex.

'A' was devastated. He got to know that when she started seeing her ex that was the exact day she had that change in attitude. 'A' helped her get out of all her problems and trauma from family and studies and what did he got in return? Betrayal. And after that he did cried. Cried all night and soon decided to work on himself. He applied for another exam and prepared his ass of in the little time he had left. He also decided to give time to reflect and analyse himself and his emotions and started spending time with people who actually cared for him.

Now here he is writing this post on his phone and realizing how bitch of a person he became. He has now understood that love doesn't mean losing himself for someone else, going so blind that he couldn't even see those obvious red flags and flaws in the next person, prioritising some rando over his future his goals and ambitious. He has now realized that relationship is all about respect and equal efforts. It is about love but not the kind that strips someone out of his identity for someone else. It is about change but in a positive and healthy and harmless way. It is about complimenting each other not fixing. One should have self respect and be bold that he is not depend on someone else's attention or opinion. It is about mutual understanding and loyalty.

I wrote this because I saw a post of someone talking about how many boys are willing to be just puppies to girls even though they have stated clear that they are not interested or they don't see him as a human but a source of validation and fulfilling their ego and pride. Boys, don't be like that. I was once this guy and it's really really disgusting to yourself of what person you become. You are not meant to fix someone or get fixed. Nobody can. And never ever call this behavior as a kink or anything this is another way to sabotage your growth and your identity. And if you read it all congratulations you are not a goldfish on cocain when it comes to attention and focus you are doing great.