Not someone who has had no trouble making friends. (reposted from a different community because I did not get a response there)

Background about me:

Been socially awkward since I was little. Apart from my parents no one thinks im extroverted lol. Dont remember much about my personality from when I was a kid. But what i do know is that making and keeping friends has always been hard for me. Till my 10th grade i didnt have much of a filter and said what I though ( i was careful but many have pointed out to me that whats not mean or offensive to me sometimes sounds like that to others )... same goes for when I would try making jokes. I have been bullied a lot ( I was in an all girls school and they singled me out and bitched behind my back ) and made fun of all my life. after my 11th grade, I got a little self aware and tried. Dear lord was 12th grade full of drama. Without any intention I made fun of a friend of mine in front of mhy teacher (Not going to downplay it, it was wrong) and my only two friends in school stopped talking to me. Coaching classes were a different nightmare because this girl spread rumors about me and by the academic years end no one was talking to me at all.

The next two years were pretty good actually, people were nice except for the 5 bullies I had for the 2 years before now. People who I met in the last two years were kind and nice and still are in contact. But I met my first (and current) boyfriend there and right now hes the only friend I have.

My mom is like this: introverted with outsiders, very observant and I adore her so I've grown up to be like her. Because of all the bullying and the the 12th grade social drama I shut off so bad. I overthink, over analyse, and overall be a bit depressing around others ( i dont talk ) if I feel the situation was unkind to me or it wasnt how it was supposed to go. Which brings me to now.

Now:

I am doing this course where youre required to work for 2 years as an intern before you give your finals. So apart from me, there are 4 interns whove come to work at almost the same time as me and obviously, 2 seniors that came a year before us. None of them talk to me nicely, exclude me from their coworker banter, and yeah are pretty non teamworkers when it comes to me. Even when I ask for help, they hit me lines like "oh the manager will loook into it" or my fav "I am too busy to help you right now". One of the 4, the golden boy gets the attention. Hes confident, charismatic, funny and everything I am not. so are the other 3. Their base hate for me stems from the overthink and things from the last paragraph. But it was for a month. I've been there for 3 months now. I've been perfectly polite and nice to everyone else for the 2 months. No one does. I am there for about 8 hours a day and yet I dont talk to anyone. Its boring, and exhausting. On many occassions this dude has humiliated me and all of them talk to me like I am beneath them.

Redditers I need your help to navigate this situation because parents will blame me and therapy is expensive lol.

11.07.2026 - I cried out yesterday because of this in the office in front of others and it came out and idk though if it will get better (I did end up telling my reporting CA - I am doing CA articleship and its been 4 months since I started). I hope it does.

I sometimes miss when we were kids...everyone would include everyone in games and talk and friendships werent based on what someone needed from others.

Posting for the first time here so yes, the flair maybe wrong. I apologise if I have said / come off as offensive.