Why does it hurt so much?

I don’t know what to do. I loved him for three years and I don’t think he ever loved me. What did I do wrong? How can I just forget everything and act normal when it all came out from nowhere? I love him so much and I built my whole life thinking and waiting for him. I wanted to have a future with him and I was ready to wait as long as it takes.

He said we don’t have a future and we are not compatible and we are opposite persons and we can be just good friends. I cannot just be friends with him. I love him so much and I always will.

I don’t know what I did wrong, I feel like I’m always giving him a reason to stay away from me. I love him so much that it became a reason why we can’t be together. I put him above myself and cared for him more than I cared for myself and that was a reason.

I just don’t understand anything. I am trying so hard to not think about it because for us to be friends he didn’t want me to keep thinking about it and asking him for a second chance again and again.

How is it so hard? Why does it hurt so much? Why does it feel like it’s easy for him? Why can I not be a better person?

I wait all day to talk to him, am I asking for too much? Am I being too much? I am scared I’m giving more reasons for him to stay away from me or to stop talking to me. I am scared for everything.

The past one week was the scariest. Will it ever get better? I don’t feel the need to do anything. I don’t know what I want in life. I feel helpless and hopeless. Can I even have a life if it’s without him? Why is everything so scary?