As an immigrant, too: I'm so very tired

Having ADHD + being an immigrant with no partner or family is so fucking exhausting. I have my friends, sure, but I wish I had a partner or someone that's always there for me in this country.

I've never been medicated cuz my situation is so unstable and I can't afford it yet. I wish I had a normal life, at least, but I was born in a country where I absolutely cannot live due to oppressive laws and abusive family members. My life as an immigrant in various countries has been so fucking instable and unbearable. I can't do this anymore.

I've been hating my life a lot recently, even though I've been very successful for what my life is and for the way my ADHD brain works.

I have no choice but to work hard and be burnt out all the time, or else I'll just be sent back to my country.

I have to wake up every day and go to an exhausting fucking job that's making depressed, all the while going through a break up, and looking for another job because my contract ends soon, renewing my residency permit, convincing my landlord to keep me in the apartment even thought I won't have a job soon, dealing with racism every day. IT'S SO MUCH. It's so much I feel physically in pain because of it. My body is unable to handle all of this stress.

I'm just so exhausted, I cannot even put it into words. I'm tired beyond my capacity of expression.