romance disdains me

18f here btw. at the moment, im pretty detached from wanting a relationship and genuinely I am content with being by myself but I just can’t help but feel a longing for romantic connection. even though I know I don’t REALLY want it and (currently) like the idea of it for a multitude of reasons. I haven’t dated anyone in a long time so i think it might be bc of a mix of FOMO, nostalgia and also just a natural longing for companionship in general.

part of me wants something casual and fun but I think I’d be very hot and cold about it — only come to it when it’s convenient for me (as bad as that sounds 😭). big indicator I shouldn’t terrorise any fellow single people ig…

I feel like I’m in a constant limbo between wanting and not wanting love.

anyway, I just needed to get this off my chest lolz