9 months clean and it’s not that deep

at the beginning I went to NA and tried to find God (still trying). When everything is burning around you constantly you think that some great asteroid of an event would have to hit your life for anything to change, and you try and fail to reinvent yourself ou tout transformer du jour au lendemain but then one day you’re a different person and you look back and realise it just sort of had to happen.

many such cases I think, it’s good and it’s bad. Daily things seem incredibly inconsequential sometimes, which can be sad in a very uninspiring way. I turn 21 in a few days and I’m not excited at all (but I’m not from the USA so being 21 doesn’t really mean anything). Sometimes I do burst out sobbing, usually with frustration or to nostalgic songs, but weirdly I like it because it’s nice to feel so strongly.

well, I hope you’re all having a wonderful July thus far, and staying comfortable in this crazy heatwave 🧘‍♀️🌷