MM got caught, and he chose his wife. How do I let go?

English isn't my first language, so I asked ChatGPT to help correct my grammar. I apologize if anything still sounds unnatural.

My MM got caught, and he chose his wife.

I am completely broken. The pain is so intense, and I don't know how to cope with it. I can't tell anyone in my life what happened, which makes everything feel even more isolating.

How do you let go of someone you love so much?

Throughout our relationship, he promised that he would never let me go and that he would never leave me. But when he got caught, everything changed. All I got was, "I'm sorry." But does "I'm sorry" really mean anything?

Do you still remember what you promised? Do you still remember? How could you do this to me? How could you do this to someone you said you loved so much every day? Was I such a fool for believing you? Were those just sweet words? And then, when everything was exposed, you just abandoned me. How could you do this to me? How could you?

You said I was your everything, but what you proved to me is that I was just nothing to you... someone you could completely discard at any time.

Was I just there for sex? Was the love between us real? If it was, why could he just leave me behind and give up on us? I know the answer: he has a wife, and when he was forced to make a choice, he chose her. That broke me. I have been such a fool.

Even though I know I was a fool, why can't I let go and move on? He's gone. He's disappeared from my life. We are in no contact. I know there's no chance we'll ever get back together, so why am I still stuck here, thinking about him every day and feeling so much pain?

Every day, every minute, I wonder if he ever misses me or even thinks about me at all. I keep thinking that maybe he is doing hysterical bonding with his wife, and that is why he no longer needs me. Whenever I imagine him being intimate with her, it makes me feel sick.

Did he only want me for sex? Now that he can have sex with his wife and go through hysterical bonding with her, I feel like he doesn't need me anymore. I feel like he can just turn to his wife whenever he is horny, and I have been completely replaced, as if I never existed in his life.

So what was I to him all those years? Was I just a sex toy to him? All of these questions are breaking me, and what is even worse is that I can't stop replaying them in my head.

What hurts the most is knowing that I was the one he abandoned while he is now rebuilding his relationship with his wife.

It is so difficult for me to move on. I know healing takes time. I know I need to detach and move on, but it is so difficult.

When I look for support online, almost everything I find is for the betrayed spouse or the wayward spouse. I understand why those resources exist, but I haven't been able to find much for someone in my situation who is trying to process the loss and move forward.

Does anyone know of any support groups, YouTube channels, podcasts, books, or other resources that could help me get through this difficult period?

I feel so broken. I feel like I have ruined my life. Can someone please help?

Sorry again if my English doesn't sound natural. I am just trying to express what I am going through and find some support.