Found this in my notes from a few days ago

Trigger warning cause I’m not sure what flare to use. Quote “**What if psychosis is just you seeing what’s behind the mask and seeing the simulation for what it is and they call it that so you are programmed to keep as far away from that concept as possible. Drugs and shit are illegal because they let you see what’s behind the mask you aren’t supposed to, that’s why when people get rich and start using massive amounts of drugs they see the true world and it makes them go insane because they couldn’t get out of the simulation. I’m scared. That’s what the “therapists” and “psychologists” are a thing, so you feel like they’re helping you by stopping you from being in “psychosis”. It all makes sense. That’s why it costs so much cause they want you to feel like it must be good if it costs that much. They use things like religion to distract you from the reality of things. I cannot fathom believing that theres an unknown entity somewhere in the sky that you can put all your blame and grief, misery, doubt, and shame onto and pretend you’ve been “forgiven”. I’d love to be able to fuck up and never take responsibility and just blame it on some random old guy, but I can’t. No one can. I’m not sure how to get out, but I know it has to be possible. You know the ratio for people with high or low intelligence? It’s like the people who question reality are the ones smart enough to figure out an exit plan. Maybe it’s death, maybe it’s some form of magic, maybe it’s something mundane like the back rooms where you just slip through randomly. I do not know. But i would like to find out, if possible. And there were more mental asylums in the old times cause the technology they had at the time wasnt good enough to fool as many people. That’s why when you’re “manic” you typically do well, because you see things clearly and you start to succeed then, when you’re depressed it’s really the world getting harsher on you because you’re close to figuring it all out. “ and quote.**