Stubborn 4.5yo I've been training for 2 years

I have a 4.5yo I've been potty training for 2 years. She's in undies during the day and pull ups at night. She will only go pee if I remind her. If I don't remind her she will not tell me and will just pee her pants. Or sometimes she'll tell me she doesn't have to go then pees her pants within 10 minutes.

She has never pooped in the potty, only poops her pants.

She truly doesn't care if she's dirty or wet. She likes to talk and act like a baby and nothing we try will get her to stop.

She refuses to talk about poop. I got a poop book that she enjoys but when I ask her where poop goes (book repeats the line "I poop on the potty") or why she did it in her undies she refuses to answer or reverts to baby talk. She's a highly intelligent girl and advanced in all other areas (can do basic math, starting to read, big imagination etc) but not here.

I'm not mean to her about it, frustrated sure but I don't take it out on her.

Bribes, rewards, charts, cleaning self, cleaning her dirty clothes, interrupting play to have her shower to get clean, naked time, making it fun, tablet or books on the toilet, put a stuffy on a baby toilet, being around potty trained peers, special treat and toy she picked out herself visible at all times, etc.​ Have tried it all.

Sorry if this is all over the place but I'm so frazzled and exhausted. Especially since I have a 2.5yo I need to start training and he is already resistant.