Extreme guilt and shame after self harming

I don’t normally feel this way after I cut, but last night I couldn’t stop looking at it and just feeling so extremely ashamed and guilty. This has been my coping mechanism for over 10 years now, and it makes me feel like a little kid using stupid ways to cope. Maybe I partly want people to see it and feel bad for me, which adds to the shame. I’m too old for this now, but I’m addicted and can’t stop.