25 years and blindsided with divorce!

I’m really struggling today and scrolling through here looking for something my husband after all these years canceled the biggest trip of our life last minute we lost all our money and then told me that he was moving for our job. I didn’t see any of this coming, we’ve been at odds because we haven’t been intimate in forever, so I do feel like there was some level of resentment because he was the one who didn’t want to be intimate because he has some medical issues and instead of getting medication and dealing with it, we just didn’t have sex for so many years and I just thought this was part of life. I can’t have everything he’s got a medical problem blah blah blah anyway last year he had a great year at work and he’s been losing weight and now he’s feeling himself and people are recognizing him at work and wanting to talk to him and be involved with him and so now he’s leaving me and I agreed to the divorce. I filed all the paperwork I helped him get an apartment and he moved to another state and is coming back next week for our court date and I’m seeing all these bank transactions he’s on like 10 global websites. I don’t know if he’s looking for a male away bride. He ordered erectile dysfunction medication. He ordered pheromone spray. He’s buying all kinds of new clothes the financial agreement that we came up with is very fair and reasonable however, I’m going to be strapped every month, I get to keep the house, but I have to pay for it. I’m completely devastated because he lied to me and told me he just wants to be alone. He also said we were still gonna be friends and still be in each other’s lives, but I haven’t heard from him at all and every time I talk to him, he’s just cranky and ugly like he has been for the last few months towards me. I’m sad because he’s my best friend and I still love him even though this is awful and even though we haven’t been intimate in probably 20 years, what a fake lie of a life that I’ve been living and didn’t even realize it and I’m so lonely because nobody knows and I don’t wanna tell anyone until after the court date is finalized because I don’t want outside influences to try to tell us what we should or shouldn’t do so I’m stuck in the state that he wanted me to move to five years ago and I gave up everything. I guess I just needed someplace to vent and say all of these things I’m incredibly sad and also kind of relieved. I have highs and I have Lowe’s and I don’t know what the future is going to bring, but I feel like my husband has died. I feel like this new person. I don’t even know who he is and I feel like he was hiding right in front of me and plotting and planning his exit strategy. He has been on a GLP one for his diabetes for the last few years and then the last year and a half to two years he’s completely changed and has no joy in his life and never wants to do anything. I’m not saying that this is the reason that he’s leaving me. I’m not making excuses, but I can’t help but wonder if this brain getting rewired was a contributing factor I’m glad that he’s finding joy in whatever this is his little Intl Asian fetish I want him to be happy but I feel like I’ve wasted my whole life we talked about having kids but then we never had sex. I gave up a chance to have a family to stay with a man that didn’t even wanna be intimate with me and now I’m over 50 years old and left all alone and I have no family and I just feel awful. I Don’t know how to handle all of this. So now I’m sure he’s just gonna go get himself a new wife or a mail order bride she’ll have kids and grandkids and he’ll have a whole new family and I won’t have my best friend. I won’t have anything, but he sure did leave me with all the animals in the bills so every month I’ll have enough money to pay the bills and that’s about it.