Idk what im feeling but

Sometimes when im not feeling wanting or thinking anything i jus stare at the ceiling for hours at night trying to find the answer for “why” why did it all happen why always me why and i stay up till i cry enough to get myself tired and drain all of the energy or whatever is left in my body and then i sleep im trying to do things which i like which makes me happy such as shopping going out yapping posting and stuff but it all lost it taste i feel no joy doing any of it and juss wanna disappear and live a simple lowkey life