Am I (f25) over reacting in this relationship with my 3year LDR partner (M26)?

Hey op here and first post forgive Grammer for i am on mobile, anyway so I have a boyfriend (M26) and me (F25) and we have been together 3.5 years LDR. Now that out of the way context.

This was during the first time I went to go see him and meet his family imma call my bf dave (not his real name).

I went up to see him for a week. And one of the days we went over for dinner at his parents house . I met his grandfather(M75) first and he was nice we had a conversation like what anybody does when a partner is introduced ( what do you do, where you from etc) this was all fine and dandy the trip was great and I had a good time yay

A week after I left I find out that the grandfather said I was entitled? And dave was yelling at me through the phone about it.

At this point I was confused cuz to me it was normal grilling (forgot to mention the grandfather's girlfriend was there asking me all the questions in the world sorrrryyyyyy)

And im one to be honest but polite and just answer how it is. dave and I got over it but sense we are LDR and I feel kinda slighted cuz both the grandfather and the mother apologized to just dave about the whole situation now dave just says it was a miss communication and to let it go sense it was years ago.

I tried having a adult conversation with his mom (50f) but she always just get upset and says she can do nothing right. And I has no relevance now and im just like dave ( high functioning autistic)

Anywho that was the context

Now 2 years later. I dont feel welcome in Dave's moms home emotionally cuz first time I came in the house dolled up and the context happened

2nd time I came in casual clothes then told i look ill ( not to my face but dave later told me) and that she was worried and that I should get tested for autism (ive been tested for all the things sense I was a slow learner in school but all results where clear that I didnt have any of the stuff she was accusing me of)

Ive told dave all my feelings on the situation and how I feel unsave in her house. (Ik im unwanted in that house cuz dave said that all the mom wants from me is acquaintance status which to me and it ok if im crazy but that wild to only want acquaintance status to potential family and im not saying buddy buddy ether just enough to have a pleasant conversation without someones feeling hurt)

And that even if married (if that happens)I dont want anything to do with that house kids included dave says thats not how you handle it. I agree but at the same time ive done everything I can to please this women and I dont want to anymore.

Now what does that have to do with us. Well aside from other problems he talks to the women when a lick of the context comes up and then tries to logic out so I feel stupid on feeling hurt and that the main thing as well as lack of life motivation to better himself.

Otherwise I love him to death. And ik I might look stupid. Cuz on his end he says he trying to please both me and his mother at the same time.

I do care for him but I need unbiased opinions on this situation ....I dont want us to be over but I cant handle the competition