After not using STP for 5-6 years, I tried again with my partner watching and it was extremely fun and affirming

Disclaimer: This happened earlier today with a stand-to-pee (STP) device. I'm a transman (ftm) with no surgeries, so I don't have the anatomy to pee like someone who has a penis. I call my anatomy "dick" and "pussy" as a heads up to avoid dysphoria in others.

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I tried using the stp on camera with my partner watching. At first I felt embarrassed and ashamed. Sad. Gender dysphoria added on to being nervous. He said we didn't have to do it but honestly I wanted to get the disappointment over with. I had tried using it 5-6 years ago but I abandoned it so I had low expectations from this experience. But I was curious.

I sat my partner on the edge of the tub (it's one of those combo tub/showers). I got the stp, which looks like a small penis, took off my shorts and went in the shower. The STP was mostly held up by my thighs so I didn't need to hold it with my hands too much.

So I stood there and waited. And waited. And waited. My bladder was starting to ache with need cause I waited there for like 5 minutes while my partner reassured me over the phone. How I was doing great and that I could take as long as I needed.

What he did not know was that my phone battery was under 20% and it was dropping, with every second I stand in the shower.

So I closed my eyes and started stroking the stp, thinking about peeing into his open mouth. I was getting a bit worked up, breathing deeper and deeper thinking about the stream hitting his tongue, him moaning with satisfaction and pleasure.

I could feel my body relaxing so I wanted to look him in the eye (or the camera) and let it go. To my surprise, he had his tongue out already in anticipation! I'm sure the memory of my piss being on his tongue still lingers in his head, eager to taste me again.

I could feel myself getting to that tipping point where I couldn't hold my pee back. I pushed and it starts to flow out from the tip. We both moan. Relief for me, arousal for him. It stops and then another fluid drips out. It looks like precum, which I didn't expect! That was so hot to see that I could look down and that'd come out of a dick, MY dick. The same wetness from my pussy just dripping out from the tip of the skin-toned STP, nice and thick, it made me feel so AFFIRMED and confident.

I relaxed a bit more and another longer stream stream came out towards the camera. My partner praised me "look at that powerful stream! That's my good boy." The piss splatters on the shower floor, back onto my feet. I loved that warm feeling. I had a good hold on it, it barely leaked out the back of the stp, which is an improvement from all those years ago.

After I finished, I rinsed the shower and my feet, washed the stp, and went back to my room where I charged my phone and he talked me through letting go over and over again. I will definitely be giving using my STP another shot for more fun.