Venting Post-NICU

My son was born at 24 weeks and spent 113 days in the nicu. His long term complications were a unilateral grade 4 IVH that he had surgery for back in March (ETV-CPC that was successful) and an inguinal hernia that he has also had repaired.

He has now been home longer than he was in the hospital, and I just feel like it never got easier. He is the fussiest baby. Has never slept through the night, naps about 30 mins only, only wants to be held (doesn’t enjoy tummy time, bouncer, etc).

I literally can not do anything. I’ve since returned to work (I work from home) and struggle during the work day with him, I’m afraid to go on any outings because he literally just cries the entire time. I’ve completely isolated myself because he is just not a pleasant baby to be around.

I breastfeed. Both pump and nurse. He takes both fine. His only supplement is a daily vitamin with iron.

He is overall hitting all milestones and doing well.. it is just a struggle. I keep hoping it will get better, but it never did.

I’m already so sad about the trauma that came with my pregnancy and delivery. I feel robbed of all the exciting things that comes with a baby. He is my 3rd, rainbow baby, and my last. I’m just struggling.