how many is too many psych ward stays

I went to the psych ward when i was 18, then when i was 19, & i think im needing to go again at 20. I don’t know. I feel like im too dependent on my mental health services. I miss the food.
I have bipolar & the last visits were for depressive / suicidal ideation.
This time it would be because of a mixed hypomanic/ depressive episode that’s making it very difficult to get things done. I’m having a hard time eating & doing school work. I got put on anti-psychotics & i know they take some time to work but i feel fucking crazy even though i seem like. not horrific from the outside. I don’t know. It’s summer soI have too much time. fuck , whatever