Has anyone else caught themselves repeating the emotional patterns they grew up with, even the ones that left them feeling invisible?

I've been sitting with this for a while and wanted to see if it resonates with anyone else here.

Watch explanation video

One thing that's been on my mind is how emotional neglect doesn't just shape how we feel about ourselves, it shapes how we respond to our own kids, partners, or even ourselves, without us realizing it. If your emotions weren't really seen or responded to growing up, some part of you learned that emotions aren't something to pay attention to, or that they're inconvenient, or that they should be handled alone. That doesn't just disappear because you grew up and know better now.

So sometimes, as a parent or partner, you can catch yourself brushing past someone's feelings, or not knowing how to sit with your own, because no one showed you what it looks like to actually attune to emotion. And it's also the only template you were given.

What's gotten me is that it's not about willpower. You can consciously want to be more emotionally present and still freeze or shut down in the moment, because it's running on a much older, faster part of the brain than the part that sets your intentions.

Has anyone else noticed this pattern in themselves? What's actually helped you start to recognize it or shift it, even a little?