have not moved on.

there was this girl, let’s call her ‘r’
i first noticed her in sunday class during the 8th grade, girls sat on the left side while guys sat on the right, we were in the same row, my eyes were on her throughout the whole day, she was doodling on the back of the textbook not listening to the teacher at all. i genuinely thought she was the prettiest person with the prettiest personality ever if that makes sense. whenever we sat close during mass my heart would be over the moon hoping she would notice me or something but that never happened. this went on till 10th where i was like all or nothing and decided to ask my friend for her instagram. texted her. the first message ever from me was telling her how pretty she was. i conveyed literally what i thought. she said thank you and since then we grew closer and closer. we would go on speaking to each other for more than 4 hours. EVERY DAY. and it never got awkward. and then suddenly towards the end of 10th she started resenting me bit by bit, but she also said she loved talking to me, how she loves having a person like me, how she loves me so i didn’t think much of it and on may 13th of 2025, i sent a text and she did not reply so i unsent it and that was it. and then i moved countries to study 11th so that kept my busy but time to time she kept slipping onto my mind, memories we made. she was genuinely so stunning i was never able to speak to her in real life, she would approach me and i would run out before she got the chance to approach me. from may 13th of 2025 to april 13th 2026 i waited every single day, hoping that the happy birthday text would fix whatever was wrong between us, i sent it the second the clock striked twelve. she didn’t reply right away and my heart was beating so fast. eventually she replied with a “thank youuu” and i genuinely thought that may be it but i was so wrong, a week later she unfollowed me and removed me as a follower, i regret sending that text so much. im in my last year of school and i still haven’t moved on. she keeps slipping onto my mind, way more frequent now, it pains me to think that we could’ve been something. i still wonder day to day what went wrong.
im in 12th and i still have not moved on, i genuinely think its impossible. i’ve only really liked 3 girls in my life genuinely and she’s one person i prayed to god for, . i want to text her and know what went wrong but im scared because what if it results in her blocking me but at the same time i want answers. so so bad. i genuinely almost hit the send button last week. i was SO close.

what do i do man.