Obsession has become "Baby's first serious movie"

Online I have seen various takes about Obsession that seem to be reading way too much into the film, treating it as a masterful social commentary when it really isnt. Of course, the movie does have some social commentary but it is much more character focused, and the social commentary is not prevalent enough to generate all the discourse it has.

To get this out of the way: yes, Bear is the villian. Youre so smart and media literate for figuring out something the movie blatantly tells you. Look at the scene where Bear says "What's so bad about being with me?". The score, the acting, how its shot, none of it is ambiguous at all. But that's ok because the movie isn't trying to be ambiguous. The problem is, people online dont understand nuance, and have completely misread what the movie is trying to say, and have come out with the entirely wrong idea bout why Bear is the bad guy, and what the movie is trying to say.

1. Bear's actions Ive seen lots of entirely false claims about Bear's character online, and Ill list some of them so you can get a sense of what I'm talking about. "Bear could've wished for something else/He bought the willow for Nikki, it was selfish for him to keep it!" Bear was frustrated that he didnt have the nerve to confess his feelings and so took it out by using the willow. He was venting. The willows arent expensive, he could've just bought her another one, or even just forgot the whole thing because he didn't have to get her anything in the first place. Him making the wish isnt indicative of any moral failing on his part.

"Bear tried to provoke a response out of Nikki at the the Jenga game" I have seen so many people talk about this, saying Bear could have just chosen to drink instead of taking the dare. But he doesn't take the dare, he just reads the card. Which is what you're supposed to do when you play a game like that. He could have finished his drink instead, but he still has to read the block, its not really that deep. "Bear cheated on Nikki! How selfish!" Bear didnt cheat on Nikki. He went to the car to talk to Sarah because he wanted a break from the stressful situation where his "girlfriend" is screaming about killing herself if he doesnt sleep with her, and we never actually see if he was going to kiss Sarah or not. Even if he did, hes not exactly in a healthy relationship, again, his "girlfriend" is extremely abusive to him.

"Bear is the reason the movie is called Obsession, he's obsssesed with Nikki!" This is just a fake "deep" comment. Bear isn't obsessed with Nikki, at most he's obsessed with the idea that what they have is an actual relationship after he learns the truth, but even then he tries multiple times to stop the wish. He is a bad person but its not because hes obsessed. The reason the movie is called Obsession is because Wish Nikki is obsessed with Bear.

"Bear only views Nikki as an object, he knows nothing about her and doesnt actually care about her" True for the end of the movie, but not the beginning. Bear does care about Nikki, he heas an idealized view of her (as seen by the scene wher she gives the homeless guy money, which isnt actually hers), but she specifically says hes the only person she talks about her writing career with, which makes someone more than just acquaintances. Yes he didn't know details about her family, but thats not because he wasnt close to her. We even find out later in the movie she "saw him as a brother" (though Sarah could be lying), which isnt how you describe someone whos just part of the same friend group as you.

Now, by the end of the movie, Bear is extremely selfish, but thats because, in his mind, he had a relationship with Nikki. For a week he had what he thought was a perfectly normal relationship, and so when he learns its because of a wish, he SELFISHLY decides to ignore the implications of that. When she starts acting strange, he tries to alter and then cancel the wish, and finds out he cant do either, AND that hes not dating the "actual" Nikki. Up to this point he had been willfully ignorant of the situation, acting as if the wish hadnt actually changed Nikki, it just gave him what he wanted because wishes dont exist in real life, and, if you're SELFISH, its very easy to see it as "Oh, I made a wish and it came true" and nothing more than that. Him saying "Whats so bad about being with me" is actually indicative of that, he didnt want to believe that he wasnt actually dating the real Nikki, he wanted to have his cake and eat it too, even though it made no logical sense. Him screaming after opening Sarah's acceptance letter, and resolving to fix the problem after that, shows that he's not a heartless monster, he's just a coward who was too selfish to come to terms with what he did to Nikki.

2. Tone Ive seen plenty of people online talk about how Obsession is a super serious movie, and you should NOT joke about it, or dress up as Nikki and Bear as a couples costume, and I've even seen a Youtuber get cancelled partially over this, and partially over him downplaying Bear's actions. Here's the thing- the movie doesnt take itself that seriously. There's a reason Bear, and not Nikki, is the main character, and that is because its supposed to be a fun horror movie. Does Bear do terrible things? Yes, but he doesn't do them maliciously, he does them selfishly.

This isn't an "incel" horror movie, or even really a movie about misogyny in general, its a movie about not being able to accept that something you are used to and that you like is bad and needs to change. THe movie is over the top in many scenes. The head smashing scene, Nikki screaming at Bear and then shooting Ian, the cat sandwich scene, Nikki acting awkwardly at the party, and, most importantly, the final scene. It's shot like a cheesy rom com and thats a joke. It's supposed to be funny and absurd. The music choice over the credits is also meant to be ironic. The movie is not a super serious examination of incel culture or misogyny because it doesn't want to be that. If it was it would be very bleak and disturbing, and it's really not that at all.

Now, why did it call it "Baby's First Serious Movie?" Because I haven't seen a single person discussing the movie bring up how the film presents its story. Everyone talks about the characters actions, and what they mean, and if thats all you talk about, yeah the movie would seem pretty serious. But again, thats not the full movie. Let's take American Psycho. Is dressing up as Patrick Bateman for Haloween appropriate? Yes, because even though he murders disadvantaged members of society and fantasizes about sadistically torturing women, the movie is intentionally very over the top and there are scenes where you are meant to laugh at the absurd things he's doing. Now compare that to dressing up as a character from a less over the top movie, like I dont know, Jack from The House That Jack built, or maybe even BOB from Twin Peaks. Those characters feel too "serious" to dress up as, or to have as ones favorite character or whatever because they are meant to invoke terrible things that happen in real life. Which Obsession does not do. Obsession does not try to be super serious, and everyone who says "wow way to miss the point of Obsession" is missing the point themselves because the movie is intentionally over the top, and while yes, it is meant to be scary, and yes, it's meant to be tragic, it's not the deep, thought provoking movie one should treat with extreme respect that people make it out to be. But to people who dont really watch that many movies,, and who may have learned bout the movie through the discourse surrounding it, of course it would seem deeper than it is. But it's not, and THAT is what media literacy is. It's not describing the characters and plot, because thats what the movie is made for, to convey those things to you, it's describing how the movie presents those.