I think i found my type

I really just wanna yap about this cause its stupid and on my mind even if this is super embarrassing for some reason to post for me. This is just a big nothing though and just me wanting to post it somewhere i won't be seen and if someone recognizes me from my family.

So i was at a cousins swim meet, he's in elementary and the swim meet was from basically elementary to highschool and I'm in highschool but i dont swim, i want to but i didn't start learning[besides like just enjoying sitting in water] until about 13 cause i was deathly afraid of putting my head under water. Like screaming so loud your eardrums ruptured type of afraid.

Anyways I'm just sitting in the back like people do cause my cousin's sitting there and the day before i had already heard about the "swimmer physique" and i just thought it was some stupid thing to scroll past. So low and behold when i see the absolute most attractive guy i've ever seen walk in, i just happened to realize it was in fact very real.

And like i mean i already kinda knew what i didnt like but i didnt know what i do like you know?? I always knew i liked a bit of muscle but i dislike Bulky. Not that people who are bulkier aren't attractive, just not my type. So like swimmers bodies being lean and usually tall was like having some eye opener for me.

Sucks alot that i'm not the most attractive plus im unathlethic and look it cause im recovering my body from starving itself and ya know how you gain more weight when you eat normally after doing that?? Yeahh... though the whole being super shy thing doesnt help either. My grandma litterally told me "your uncle knows his parent", i dont want to be publicly rejected i couldn't handle that.