Did anyone else never ask anyone out because being in a relationship never felt like something that could happen to you?

Going through life, I felt like I had my hands full just trying to survive and avoid making a fool of myself, though I usually felt like I failed at even that.

Looking back at school and college, I don't think I ever seriously considered asking a girl out. Sure, I had crushes and found some girls attractive, but my thoughts never went beyond that. My self-esteem and confidence were so low that being in a relationship didn't even feel like a realistic possibility. It wasn't something I thought I deserved or could ever have. The whole idea felt so foreign that I couldn't even imagine myself asking someone out.

I didn't even have a real sense of self. How could I possibly put myself in front of someone as a dating option when I barely felt like a person worth knowing?