Type A and Nacho-ing

I want to nacho really bad...but I'm a type A personality. I have strong opinions on how I want my home to run and how I personally am as a parent. My husband is a Disney dad who is trying to do better...but he still falls short in my opinion. I love my husband sooo much and we get along so well...but my SD(15) drives me nuts. When she is here my stress level goes to 100. I need to find a way to "not care" or "let things go". Are there any other type A folks out there who can give me some tips?