I've hit a new low - Day 1

A couple weeks ago I broke a nearly-9-month streak by drinking. I've gotten drunk several nights since that first slip, and last night was the worst.

I live with a relative who thinks I'm clean. I got drunk after she passed out. I then found her car keys, stole her car, drove to the gas station, and STOLE more alcohol (because they stop selling it at 2am). I woke up today, called out of work (there goes my solid reputation), now I'm just sitting here feeling absolutely awful, but at the same time, so thankful that last night's extremely stupid and irresponsible decisions didn't lead to anything worse.

I've had worse nights... I've woken up in a hospital, and I've woken up in jail a couple times thanks to my terrible decision-making when drunk. But this could've went so wrong. I don't know if I could live with myself if I caused harm to anyone while out there on the road. I already have 2 DUIs and currently no license... This would've been an automatic felony, along with mandatory prison time if I would've been pulled over for any reason.

I'm not responsible when I drink. I do stupid things and I say stupid things. I put myself and others in danger. I become unreliable to those who need me. I should not be drinking at all, the proof has always been there, but I'm hoping this is the wake up call I needed before this little game of Russian Roulette ends badly.

So thankful to have the opportunity to give this another shot. Glad to be here and IWNDWYT