r/TBI•
mimosa-mariposa

How to handle my ex with a severe tbi?

Need Advice

Should I block my partner with a tbi because I think he might be a little obsessive over me? Backstory, rsn for question at the bottom: In April of last year, the guy that I had been dating for about 10 months got into a really bad car accident and almost died. Comatose for almost a month, 10 weeks in the ICU, a month in another hospital, 3 months in a neurorehab in another state. I stayed with him thru all of it. It was just me and his parents. It was crazy to watch him get better. He came a really long way I watched him relearn how to do so many things. I stayed with him for 10 months after the accident. Until it just got too hard. My relationship with his mom had gone completely sour and my entire life had fallen apart in 10 months. I love him so much but he's not who he was at all. We will never be able to have a relationship that we want to have with eachother. He can't regulate his emotions at all, he screams and curses and hits and also constantly begs for food or to go to bed and makes lots of dirty jokes. Sometimes has incredible moments of sweetness and clarity, he's still very very smart (ironically had just graduated with a neuroscience/chem degree). The day I left, his mom had him parked in front of the TV watching a really obnoxious show and she was completely zoned out on her phone and depressed and saying she didn't know what to do with him (we kinda got kicked out of the neuro rehab because of his behaviors being dangerous to work with). His dad spends half his salary now on therapists and caretakers. None of our friends have consistently showed up. It's hard because he lives with his parents now, 30 mins out of town in an old folks area. I used to drive our friends out to go see him. I tried to contact all sorts of people for his benefit. This is becoming a rant atp but- Incredibly painful reality. I have not been able to go back for almost 6 months now. I hope things are better than when i was last there. His parents have not reached out at all, I reached out to his dad twice and was ignored. We're 24. I wasn't married to him. I exhausted every last resource I had to be there for him until I couldn't anymore. I ended up living back with my mom for a couple months and then homeless for 3 1/2 months. I'm a couple months into living in a new city and a new relationship. And ever since I left he has been all over my Instagram commenting on old posts, not very cohesive things, "i love u, miss you, sex jokes etc. sometimes he reaches out, asks me to visit etc. It's still happening, slightly less frequently after 6 months gone. His mom used to tell me he would talk about me all the time. I feel guilty and sad. I haven't been able to bring myself to block him. I don't know what's best for him idk what his experience of life is like besides him just telling me he's bored. He can't really hold a conversation. I guess I'm asking for some insight on what his experience might be like and if it would be better for him to not see me. Please reddit don't be mean to me about my decisions to go, this has been so hard.

Posted Jul 11, 2026, 9:04 PM UTC

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