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I don't know how to reach you, after everything that happened I'm emotionally a mess. I spend all day in the work van crying. Just to come home and relieve you of duty to the kids and as soon as you walk out that door. It's uncontrollable. The tears come and they don't stop. I try to reach out. I've been told I'm weak, you don't care, or I deserve it because of my actions or someone else's. More than anything I want you to be there for me. The problem being I'm not sure if you are you anymore, or if I will ever be able to see you as that person again.