Do SA/PA really love/desire their partner? Or this is something they tell us to ease guilt/harm to us?

Can anyone answer the question of how love and desire for a wife or partner can genuinely coexist alongside compulsive repeated acting out with escorts?

I'm really struggling to reconcile this intellectually and I can't help feeling it's a lie or distortion of some kind.

My partner claims to love me and only me, want a family with me and our son, and is/was very dependent on me in some ways. Our sex life was never a problem - not a dead bedroom in any respect. He doesn't appear to have kinks that are specialist or unfulfilled. It's not about frequency of sex. I don't think it's about my appearance but I'm starting to question that because the self worth wounds and comparison trap is just hard. He just appears to want constant novelty, secrecy and transactional encounters. It is linked to his emotional regulation, possibly avoidant attachment traits, and appears to be compulsive/compelling for him and not under his full control. The behavior just continues but all the while, he keeps denying it, minimising it and insisting despite me not requiring him to, that he loves me 'with a passion' or other grand statements, and asking me not to give up on him but he ia not really taking steps to change (which means our relationship is currently no more at this time until he can demonstrate appropriate steps to recovery).

Is it really true that these encounters don't involve emotions or feelings? I feel like it's not that clear cut. Why put yourself in a situation repeatedly with someone you openly desire, with whom you share an intimate experience and bonding hormones if you love your partner? Shouldn't the opposite be true, you remove yourself from the temptation of developing a bond or desire for someone else precisely because you value and love your partner?

Id be particular interested to hear from recovering SA/PA on this question. I want to understand it from the other side because it genuinely doesn't make sense to me and my SA hasn't given me any real answers as yet, despite me trying to be as open and understanding and non-judgemental as I can.

Although everything I've read says it's not usually about the partner, its to do with the SA/PA own issues, I cannot shake the idea that it stems from disatisfaction in the main relationship. How is it possible to select other women that you clearly find attractive and then not compared them to your partner?

Help me understand or find ways to stop circling this question.