Holiday in late 90s, heartbreak, now she is stalking me on LinkedIn 29 years later.

Back in the late 1997 I met a beautiful lady at my gym. I was 25 and she was 33. She targeted me in the gym, she worked out my routine and every time I was there so was she. She struck up a conversation with me and we got friendly, which led to a first date which developed into a relationship.

It was a relationship but not in the way I was used to, after she had me she stopped chasing me she changed and seemed indifferent. She would only see me at short notice when it suited her. The sex was out of this world, it was like nothing I had experienced before, passionate and loving. We bonded in the bedroom completely. She burst into tears after her orgasm the first time we made love. She used to say how she could ‘really feel me’ when we were making love. After sex she would go back to being cold again.

There are many things I could share, being cold on her birthday, only coming out with my friends once and hardly speaking to me all night. I told her I loved her once and it did not go down well, she told me ‘it scared her’

She told me she needed a holiday so we booked a week in the Canary Islands. We flew out and everything was going really well. The holiday was different to what I was used to, all she wanted to do was lay by the pool all day from 10am to 5.30pm. She never even went in the pool for a swim. I suggested sightseeing or going to the beach but she always said ‘maybe tomorrow’. After a few days I gave up asking. We had sex each evening after coming back from the pool and in the morning too. Halfway through the holiday we had the most amazing sex of my life, I went to have a shower after a day by the pool she said ‘don’t shower I want to smell you’. She pulled me on top of her and we made passionate love, after several orgasms she said to me ‘you are getting too good at this’, then we showered and changed and went out for a romantic dinner. It was one of the best nights of my life.

When we woke the next day something had changed, she was distant and cold. We went through the pool routine and made love when we got back but she was cold and robotic. That was the last time I made love to her. For the last 2 days of the holiday she was distant and cold, everytime I tried to get close she seemed to get annoyed. Sex was now off the table.

After we got home she told me she needed a couple of days to herself. I called her 2 days later and she still did not want to see me, the following day she invited me round her flat for a takeaway. I was hopeful the relationship was going to be ok. Long story short she dumped me after we finished eating, she told me “you crowded me”, “everytime I turned around you were there” ,”the buzz has gone”, “I was thinking today I should miss him but I don’t”, “if we stay together you are going to get hurt”.

She asked me if I wanted to talk about it and I said “no I would like to leave”. I got up kissed her tenderly goodbye on the lips not once but twice, which was a spur of the moment thing. She kissed me back. I walked out of her flat, lit a cigarette, got in my car and drove off. I didn’t look back to see if she was looking out of her window.

I did not contact her at all. It was the days before iPhones and social media so that made it easier. I was depressed after the brutal dumping and my doctor put me on anti-depressants. I had gone from the best night of my life, on holiday with the woman I loved having passionate romantic sex to sitting alone at home single being told ‘she did not miss me’ in less than a week. It hit me very hard, my head was spinning trying to work out what had gone wrong.

I met a rebound girlfriend who was pretty and loving and things seemed to be moving in the right direction in my life. Then she called to say hello. Long story short she started calling and chasing me again. She told me she ‘had made a mistake’ and ‘it hurts to see you’ ie at the gym. I decided to stick with the new rebound girlfriend as things were going well at the time. I turned her down.

Eventually she moved away with a new boyfriend and I last saw her in 1999 at my gym. She told me she was moving away and ‘was taking a chance’ she said goodbye and she tenderly touched me on the shoulder.

Decades past, I got married and had 3 daughters. I never got over her, unlike other girlfriends where the relationship ran its course there was no closure. We went from the most passionate love making of my life to ‘the buzz has gone’ in less than a week, plus her changing her mind months later and me feeling guilty for turning her down.

In November 2024 27 years later on the exact date we went on holiday in 1997 13th November she looks at my profile on LinkedIn, it told me that she had found me by searching for me by name. A month later she sends me a connection request, which I accepted (because I still have feelings for her after all these years). I send her a warm hello message just saying ‘Hi, it’s been a long time, how are you?’, she replies ‘sorry I don’t remember where we worked together’. I must admit I was hurt by this reply. I reminds her who I was and mentioned the holiday and she coldly ended the conversation by saying Happy Christmas, she did not even ask how I was.

For the past 18 months I am sure she is using the connection to stalk me, she likes my work anniversary and sent a ‘congrats message’. She is online constantly almost 24/7 despite having a very mundane job and a very small network. I did a bit of online research and I am sure the job she claims to have is an old job that she left 2 years ago. I clicked on her profile recently and she disappeared offline for 1 week before reappearing. My career has taken off and I have an impressive CV as an Engineer and also share my personal activities (I am a boxer as a hobby).

Doing some research online it’s obvious she has fallen on hard times. She went from relationship to relationship, overspending financially and now it looks like she is living with someone who is not treating her well at all (I won’t go into details but it does not look healthy at all).

I don’t want to block her because I still have feelings for her after all these years. I think we are still both suffering from the trauma loop of our break up 29 years ago.

Thoughts?