I kept going back to my rapist

I was 16 and he was in his 30s, he was gorgeous and charismatic with his own house and car and I fell for him instantly

on our first date he was sweet and told me he loved me, he payed for dinner at a nice resturant and when we got to his house he wanted me to undress, I agreed to give oral but he was really rough

He ripped my clothes off and chocked me while raping me, he was suddenly so rough and mean

When he finished it got all in my hair and eyes and made me feel like im worth nothing, and he took pictures or videos of me

He said he was sorry for being so rough but I took it so well and was a "good girl"

the next day I tried contacting him but he blocked me, I found out he had broken up with his wife recently and was trying to make her jealous I guess with the photos

he texted me after long time, I was desperate and stupid and kept letting him do anything he wanted, when I said no he just did it anyway, I saw him for over a year on and off