being lonely can be embarrassing sometimes

i do frequently get asked do u have a best friend? do u have a friend group? do u have someone who u can talk to vent to and contact when ur in pain or need help? i end up saying no trying to hide my embarrassment and even tears sometimes, then i get asked the big question.. Why? why dont you have friends? why dont you try to look for a best friend myb u'll find someone who's a soulmate and ofc i respond with yeah sure ur right i'll try, and i do try but idk why most ppl either end up ghosting or be rude or dry in the convo.. ect ect. i never thought that ending up lonely can get to a point where i get so awkward when someone asks why ru sitting alone or yapping to ur self, because I don't have anyone to do that with other than myself! is it.. it sucks so bad.. im even lost in words rn. i get left behind, get called sensitive for trying to be human and to have connections but it's not as easy as i thought it is hah..sorry for sounding like a lonely cave creature haha i just wanted to let this out my chest.