How to be kind to myself?

One thing about me is that I'm always harsh on myself. So much so that my already bad mental health I fear will worsen even more because of it.

I also struggled with depression that almost went beyond that and while I don't believe I have it anymore, lately I feel like I'm getting back to that mentality again.

Another thing is I also kept getting told that showing emotions is not "good". And I don't mean like angry, like crying and venting.

So I keep bottling my emotions instead and feel bad because like I keep getting told, "I'd be overreacting and sensitive". Even if I cry alone as well.

So I thought that being more stoic is the answer, but I found out it's apparently unhealthy to think this way around my feelings.

I believe if I learned to be more kinder and treat myself more gently a lot of my problems like what I mentioned above would disappear, but I don't know how.

I also don't want to go to therapy. I'm terrified of saying personal things, which would also feel invasive and getting a bad experience.

They'd also point every single thing wrong with me which would make me feel even more awful.

Besides.. I also don't want to be weak and that I can't handle making myself better when I'm already so sensitive which is unfortunate.

I actually feel embarrassed for writing this too and I'll probably delete soon