Iron deficiency for 10+ years, can’t do this anymore

30F
5’ 5
109lbs
Eastern US

Diagnoses:

ARFID
OCD
PTSD
Melanoma insitu and 6 dysplastic nevi (all surgically removed)

Diagnoses Dr thinks I may have the start of (being investigated more and waiting for time to tell..):

Multiple sclerosis (my grandpa had this)
Chrons disease (negative biopsies for this, terminal ileum ulcers and ulcers in other parts of my small intestine) no longer actively having inflammation after a year of cutting out gluten and taking Apriso but I still have pains
Thyroid cancer (left lobe has 3 tirads 5 nodules Bethesda 2 - follow-up appt and additional ultrasound 7/27)

My mental health isn’t good because nothing I’m doing is helping and I’m truthfully worried I’m going to just die. I see my life passing me by and everyone doing home cooking and going out and enjoying life and I can’t barely get out of bed most days. My heart palpitations have become so much worse and my heart t randomly races and pounds hard while sitting. If I lay on my left side the palpitations are more noticeable. I get lightheaded often. Bones ache randomly. I’ve been pushing myself to gain weight due to losing weight without really trying and now I’m 109 but end of 2024 I was 102…and I’m spiraling mentally because there is a cyclospora outbreak and I do not trust my safe foods and feel so hungry but also don’t know what I can safely eat that won’t make me sick. I’ve had cdiff a few years ago and I am genuinely traumatized from it and don’t want this bug or to be on antibiotics..it could cause my inflammation of my small intensity one to come back..

I took ferrous sulfate natures made for a really long time it barely helped then I tried vitronnc and my iron went up maybe one point back then and I had to stop due weight loss suddenly and hi inflammation and I saw a hematologist who did very basic bloodwork my primary already did and didn’t want to investigate further. She said to try another iron supplement because she doesn’t want to recommend iv iron unless I’ve tried all the pill options. My ferritin was 10 at that point. I found a kids gummy iron from Whole Foods and tried one and it ripped up my stomach so bad I couldn’t take more. Most recently my ferritin is 2 and hemoglobin is 11 and I was given a month to try another form of iron whatever I want and I’m being offered infusions but I’m so scared of them..I bought floradix sport liquid iron and had the smallest taste of it today a sip and within thirty mins my belly button was having sharp pains and under my ribs hurts. I also had severe heart pounding and some more palpitations after taking a sip of it. I feel like I just have to give up nothing is going to work for me. Nothing. My drs also found a lesion on my left kidney but they do not want to send me to anyone to investigate that more. I’m miserable.

I guess I’m posting this as a last resort. I’m meant to get bloodwork to check my iron tomorrow and I KNOW it’s gonna leave me feeling like shit and I’m scared because my heart is already crazy as it is. It feels pointless to do the bloodwork and also I have no money until Thursday so I am likely just gonna have to cancel that appt or reschedule for when I get paid because they will not do my bloodwork without copay.

I’m broke from seeing all these drs and in incredible medical debt and still no answers at all..

I have lots of immediate family who have or had blood cancers and I told my hematologist but she refuses to do any further testing for me to see if I have any genetic condition or whatnot causing my chronic low iron.