Family hate my (f24) bf(m24), how do I navigate this?

We've been together for 5 years and my family hate him and love to make it known and do everything to avoid him, refuse to go to family events if he's invited, never invite him to anything, etc.

For context I was diagnosed with autism at 2 years old and was non verbal for the earlier part of my childhood, I still don't talk properly due to processing issues and played with toys until 14 when my mom sent them to the thrift so I'd grow up, so I have a feeling my family see me as mentally still a child even at 24. However they do not make this known and they treat me like an adult for the most part, no baby talk or anything like that. But they constantly refer to me as a vulnerable adult with high support needs. My mom wanted me to have a live-in carer but I've been just fine living with my partner.

They do seem to favor, or have higher expectations for my sister, who seems very confident on the outside, namely socially. She's actually younger than me and more emotionally immature than me - a little snakey - but they describe her as "so grown up for her age" because of how she presents herself, and has a full-time job and is the manager where she works. She has a history of being jealous of whenever I'm in a relationship i.e. trying to make my boyfriends leave me for her, but the last time this showed was a relationship I was in at 14, and she has not done that with future boyfriends, so she's grown out of that but there might be some minor jealousy lurking, I don't know.

Anyway, five years ago, I met my bf. My sister was in a relationship at this time with an abusive man. Cheated on her constantly, degraded her, etc. But he was wonderful in other ways, socially very confident, and made such a good impression that people let his behaviour sweep under the carpet, until my sister finally dumped his ass last year and got with someone new soon after, who is a lovely boyfriend and liked by the family and myself.

Her ex was also loved by the family! If anything, more so than my sister's current boyfriend.

They hate my boyfriend. It could partly be because they couldn't imagine someone being with someone autistic like me; anyone who chooses to be with me must have alterior motives because I'm "technically a child". They have not said this out loud.

My boyfriend has not been perfect. He's been an ass at times. But they do everything they can to avoid him, say horrible jokes about him and laugh in front of me. I've defended him before but they still do it.

Reasons they've told me for disliking him: boring, party pooper, too shy/awkward and makes them feel uncomfortable and stressed to accomodate to his social needs e.g. turning music off cause he finds noise stressful; entitled, wants everything his way so it's hard to accomodate to him (I'd agree with this one to an extent but he's improved a lot); too intense eye contact; doesn't have a job nor provide for me financially, whereas I do; doesn't always clean up after himself and leaves me to do things (I definitely do a little more housework, but the house has always been particularly messy when they've visited us so it's not the best reference point); talks and treats me like shit, apparently, from what they've observed.

All in all I think they see me as more vulnerable and easy to be taken advantage of than I actually am, so they've painted a bad picture about him and think I'm being forced into this relationship or something.

At the end of the day, this is a small part of my dynamic with my family, they express their dislike to him whenever we meet but not the entire time, and my relationship with them is great in other ways, so I don't want to cut them off over this. Defending him doesn't work. I have refused to go on a family trip twice because my boyfriend wasn't invited, some of the family praised me for it but I almost fell out with two of my sisters over it.

This still means every time I see them my boyfriend is hurt and reminded that he is excluded, and that I'm choosing them over spending time with him. They get annoyed if I bring him to anything. My sister invited me to something next week and I said yes, she booked it and said oh btw my bf is coming. Which is fine, but if I said my bf is coming she would have a meltdown over it and cancel...

I just don't know what to do anymore, it's hurting my bf, it's making me resent my family, some of my family like him. One of my parents loves him, but he still doesn't get invited to things cause most of the family don't like him and say they won't come if he's invited cause he's boring and makes it awkward. (They've also speculated that he does it on purpose cause he's a "psycho who likes seeing people uncomfortable"). When in reality he's probably just undiagnosed autistic.

The people who express that they hate him the most are the youngest in the family, literal children who shouldn't even know my private relationship info because they aren't old enough to make an informed decision on whether someone is a good partner for me. They make jokes about him and say he's a terrible person/boyfriend. It's just so awkward I'll be trying to enjoy time with family and the 7 year old cousin is like, "haha this drawing I did is so ugly and weird like [boyfriend's name]".