I finally told my crush how I felt after 6 years… and her answer broke me

Hi, I'm currently 20. This story happened when I was 14 to and still haunts me to this day.

To give a little context, in 2020, during the COVID pandemic, our school made some rules to ensure the safety of every student. One of the rules was that each student had a designated seat, and the seats were randomly chosen.

My seat was in the back, and next to me was this girl. She was insanely beautiful, kind, and sweet, and by chance, I ended up sitting next to her for the entire year.

At first, it was kind of awkward. I had never really talked to her or any other girl, to be completely honest. But over the months, we became friends. I started developing feelings for her, but I was too scared to confess and tell her.

After the year ended, the rules were removed, and we could sit wherever we wanted again. We still talked on some occasions, but not nearly as much as we did that year.

After the year ended, I wanted to confess, but I found out she had gotten a boyfriend 2-3 weeks earlier. I was devastated, but there wasn't really anything I could do about it.

A few months later, they broke up, and she was really devastated, so I didn't try anything.

The years went by, and we eventually reached our final year. We still talked a few times, but nothing special. So I made up my mind and decided to ask her out before prom.

I gathered my courage and decided to confess, but my dumb self backed out at the last second.

We graduated, got our diplomas, and went our separate ways. I never stopped thinking about her all these years.

But the story doesn't end there.

We're now in 2026. I was recently invited to a party, and there were a lot of my old classmates there, including her.

I partied with my friends and got really drunk. I went onto the balcony to get some air, and there she was, as beautiful as always.

When I saw her, I immediately started saying a bunch of random nonsense. We chatted for a bit. She told me she had been in a new relationship for a year and how happy she was.

Because I was drunk, I decided to tell her the whole story: how I had a huge crush on her, how sweet she was, everything.

Then I ended by asking something like, "What would you have said back then if I had confessed?"

The words she said next completely shattered me.

Not only had she had a crush on me, but she had waited for me numerous times to ask her out. Since I was too afraid to make a move, she thought I didn't care about her and eventually got into a relationship (her first one). Apparently, it only lasted two months.

As I already said, she was devastated after that, and she tried to find comfort in me, but I was too blind to see it.

After that, she tried to show me signs that she was interested, but again, I was too blind to notice them.

So, in the end, she let it go during our final year and decided to move on with her life and find someone else (her current boyfriend).

She told me how happy she is now, but also wondered how things would have turned out if we had gotten together.

I was so disappointed in myself that I just told her something like, "Yeah, I guess that's life. I'm happy for you, I gotta go."

I went home and started crying uncontrollably.

I can't help but wonder what life could have been like if I had just had a little more courage.

So, to everyone who reads this until the end: if you want to ask someone out, do it. Otherwise, you might spend your life wondering, "What if?"