Doppelgänger

I’m not a clone of you, at least not a physical one. We could stand close to each other, and no one would relate to us. Still, if you look closer, if you dare to speak to one another, you will see we are more similar than what could be expected. We share a similar mind and an identical heart.  

Maybe I will never understand why I met you, but it has truly impacted my whole life. Every single person I met compares it to the potential of you and I. And I know it is not healthy; I will never know if you were a delusion of mine, if I invented some parts of you or if you were the real deal maker. I tend to believe the latest option, that you were it, that you could have been all of it: all that I have never dared to search. 

I tended to walk through this life just thinking that I was all good by myself, but now it cannot be undone. Since meeting you many years ago, I became attached to you. The one that could fully see me and still never dared to look away. I know right now things have become complicated between us. We have grown apart in attempt to redo both our life’s far from each other. And I have made quite a bit of progress. I have met new people, and I started to get along with them. But they are not you. They cannot read me crystal clear as you could, they cannot leave me my heart ripped open with such a single touch as you could. 

And that is not fair, but nothing is fair when it comes to matters of the heart. I do not have a choice when it comes to you. So, I will try to make my last attempt, I will come to you, one last time. I will cross the ocean and visit just to have a real talk. Either you were a figment of my imagination, or you will look at me and will smile mischievously, I would leave it to you. 

This is going to be the closure I have always seemed to seek from these last years. Either it starts and flourishes something real between us or if we say the last goodbye forever, it is going to be in between you and I. This is going to be a real inflection point in my life, one similar to the moment I met you. 

And maybe I will come to you, and you will not open the door. Maybe you are not even going to be there. All I know is that I am going to have tried my best and that is going to be my last attempt to ever come home, homie.  Hope you understand. 

See you in this one or the next,