Mom keeps making hurtful comments about my body

Ever since I was in the second grade, I don’t think a day has gone by without her making a cruel remark about my looks/body. I think she has literally said something negative about every feature. Literally. Just name a body part, and I can assure you she has dissed it. Eyes? She says I have “Down syndrome eyes.” Armpits? Puffy, fat, and discolored. Forehead, jawline, arms, etc. You get the picture.

What upsets me more is that almost every day, she says my breasts look weird and square and I need a better bra. I don’t have large breasts, so I don’t feel the need to get a very structured bra, but she had made it very clear ever since I grew breasts that I “need” them to be in a push-up bra. She says the same things about my butt, commenting that its square and not perky. Of course everyday there are the hurtful comments about my weight. She says because I’m overweight that’s why no one likes me or treats me well.

She has put me on diet pills and told me to be grateful to her for it. As well as the nose job I got at 14.

When I had an eating disorder and lost over 30 lbs, even then it wasn’t enough.

Of course this is just the comments about my physical body, but don’t let that distract from the criticism for my personality, interests, choices, and any other discernible quality that a human can possess. Why can’t I just be loved the way I am?