r/women•
sam_8610

My therapist just recommended that I "get adopted" (or find a virtual/physical mother figure) to heal my trauma. Has anyone actually tried this?

Hey everyone,
I’m still processing my last therapy session and honestly just need to vent/see if anyone else has ever been given this kind of advice.
I’ve been dealing with severe depression and a pretty heavy stress disorder rooted in childhood neglect and a lack of maternal maternal bonding. During my session today, my therapist looked at me and suggested that what I really need to heal is to literally "get adopted"—or, at the very least, find someone who can provide that missing motherly affection, whether virtually or physically.
At first, I thought they were joking, but they were completely serious. They explained that my nervous system is basically starved for that specific kind of maternal safety, and that experiencing it now could actually help rewire my brain and soothe my stress disorder.
On one hand, it makes psychological sense. On the other hand... how does a grown adult just go out and find a mom? It feels incredibly daunting, a little embarrassing to admit, and I wouldn’t even know where to start. (Are there apps for this? Do I just look for mentor figures?)
Has anyone here ever sought out a "surrogate" parent or chosen family to heal childhood wounds? Did it actually help your depression, or did it just feel forced?
Would love to hear your thoughts or stories because I'm feeling a bit lost right now.

Posted Jul 13, 2026, 10:47 AM UTC

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