Not just a breakup pain

I don't know how to explain this to people because everyone keeps telling me that "it's just breakup pain" and that it'll pass. But this isn't just about the relationship.

The breakup was a trigger, not the cause. I've struggled with this emptiness, emotional instability, and s*cidl thoughts long before this relationship, during it, and I know they'll still be there after it's over unless I get proper treatment.

This isn't something I can simply "move on" from by waiting a few weeks. It's become a medical and psychological issue that needs professional help. I'm scared because my mind keeps telling me that the only permanent solution is to end my life, and I don't want people to dismiss that as normal heartbreak.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? How did you get through it? What kind of treatment or support actually helped? I really need advice from people who understand that this goes much deeper than a breakup.