Does persuasion count as Sexual Assault?

Bit of a story time but I’m 18M and recently have started using Grindr for hook ups and such. When I was first 18 I did hook up with a local at the time and stated before the hook up that I DID NOT want to penetrate or be penetrated. I know it sounds stupid as I was looking for hook ups but by that point I hadn’t had a bf and wanted to just save it for someone my age and I liked. Anyway that guy was very respectful of the boundaries and stuck to them even tho why we were meeting up was kinky.

Flash forward 6 months and I’ve had a bf and broke up and been on the dating scene a bit more but just wanted to do something kinky with someone. I go on Grindr (now moved in a different city) and see someone really close <1km. I get talking to this guy (double my age) yet again giving him the same boundaries I gave to the other guy and saying I’m up for toys but not people. (The guy didn’t have pics of him and mentioned he had a sub bf but he wasn’t up joining for stuff.)

We get to the meet and I am going up and am greeted by the guy who’s pretty drunk but hey it’s a hookup. We get to me stripping and then he starts rimming me and I’m sat there not really enjoying it but trying to (if that makes sense). Anyway at one point he says about handcuffs which we had discussed and I was up for, so he puts them on me and we keep going. Also this entire time he’s taking poppers and offering me some and is really keen on the idea of me fucking his bf. I say I don’t want to to both as I had said before so we continue. He then says he needs to get more wine for himself and leaves the room while I’m on the bed handcuff behind my back. At this point, I’ve decided this isn’t really for me and just wanted to get it over with. He comes back In with his bf who is much bigger than me and quite built as well as looking a bit intimidating. He keeps saying for me to ‘just try it. I really want him to break your virginity.’ I keep trying to say no, to no avail, as his bf slowly keeps undoing his pants. At this point I’m feeling like if I upset these guys I’ve got a real chance of being badly fucked or hurt (both of which I didn’t want). So I have to try and protect myself as much as possible and appease them by saying I’ll do it but I need a condom. The bf puts the condom on me and the guy directs my body as I’m still handcuffed behind my back. It was one of the only times in my life I’ve felt I had no power to stop what was happening and feared for my safety.

After I came I pulled out and the guy took the condom off me (I could see some bits of blood on it so I’m really glad I had it on as I didn’t know anything about the bf). The bf leaves and the guy starts saying he wants me to eat the cum and I keep saying no whilst trying not to annoy him. He then gets me to lie down next to him and just sit as he plays with the tied condom of my cum. After a couple mins I say I really need to go and he back and forths for a while offering my poppers and such but eventually lets me go.

Immediately after I try and coerce myself into shaking it off and just go home (at the time I’m living alone in a flat because my flatmate is gone for summer.). It always weighted on me what happened and I never really talked about it and just shoved it down but today I walked from my house to the local shop maybe 500m. I pass a pub on the way and in a group of faces and see the guy and while maybe not literally, it did stop me in my tracks and felt my heart drop then race. I walked a different way home but I just felt that I don’t know what to think of the whole situation. As I did technically give consent but the amount of coercion and not taking it as a first response…

I would never want to try and say I was sexually assaulted or raped and demean people who genuinely were as they are truly victims of a horrible attack but I don’t know what to think of what happened.

I’d appreciate any feedback or advice from anyone regarding this. Thanks 🙏🏻