Birthday Email

I've been estranged for ~7 years. Throughout this time, she'd contacted me a handful of times, and each time I'd give her another chance, but it always ended with me eventually cutting contact because of her toxicity. It starts off great, but then the codependency creeps in and I'd get roped into her erratic behavior/episodes with family members. It was really difficult being the deescalator all the time.

I've been no-contact for ~a year now. Last week, my mom sent me a Facebook friend request, but I ignored it. Today, she sent me an email; my birthday's on Sunday:

"Happy Monday

Someone Special has a birthday coming up and I'm reaching out to ask if you wanted to go to dinner, get some cake and ice cream or even catch a flight to Japan. You've been on my mind for a while and I'm just checking in. I love you and hope to talk soon."

I sent her email to spam and won't respond/accept the offer. I'm just hurt. It's been years and I have a deep understanding of my mom's dysfunction and know that this would not end well. Japan would be nice though. It's hard watching my friend's parents do nice things for them for their birthday, no strings attached. It would be nice if my mom was doing this, paired with an apology and laying out actionable steps to be a better mom.

Abusive parents suck. I'll be 23 on Sunday.