2 months in

Saturday was 2 months sober from porn..

This is coming off of a 26 year compulsion and habit forming addiction..

The urges have become unreal, every other thought is a memory of porn, I have aches and pains, I am not trying to willpower my way through it, I have techniques I’ve developed to help me cope..

The urges are so strong though, I get one and I can feel my mind telling me just one look, and then I say no and do something else, but I can feel “desire” behind the thought. How is that even possible that I’d feel emotion from an urge?

Sometimes I feel like the thoughts aren’t even mine, they last so long sometimes…

Today’s been really hard, but I’ll persevere and focus on other things..

It’s crazy this journey I’ve been on to become mentally healthy, I’ve cut out so many things, from alcohol, to sugar, to social media, do reducing my screen time, yet nothing has compared to quitting porn..

Music seems to be the only thing to distract my mind, but even then the thoughts creep in…

Anyways if you read this, thanks, I’m just yelling into the void to calm myself down from an urge..